It’s hard to navigate yourself sometimes. Lately, I keep running into turmoil in my relationships. This happens every so often, and hating turmoil the way I do, every time it happens it throws me off balance. Not to mention it just hurts. So, to help keep me calm and inspired I’m collecting the things that motivate me here. These things remind me why I am who I am and of what I can do for other people, even when it’s sometimes challenging. Fights, misunderstandings, lost friendships or relationships of any kind, hurt. You can take the angry approach, or you can collect yourself and remember that in the scheme of things, the petty things just don’t matter. It’s exhausting, but for me at least, it helps so much to collect yourself. Sometimes, I just need a reminder.
1) There are always enough seats at the table. Always, for anyone. Don’t compete, instead encourage. The more lights that shine, the better.
2) Be the peacekeeper.
3) If someone is jealous of something you have or do or just of you in general, they will find any way they can to hate you or pick on you. They will find a way and reason to not like you and there is nothing you can do about it. There is no winning there, so stay yourself. The only people who want to take from your cup are the ones who want to fill theirs. Because they, for whatever reason have deemed theirs empty, and they see yours as more full. Let them take, knowing they will continue to take until something changes their mind to not want it anymore. Hopefully at some point, they will leave you alone, get bored, or move on.
4) Keep the faith.
5) As crazy as it sounds, What would Maya Angelou do if she felt this way or was in this situation? Or Hilary, how would she handle it? What kind of respect and grace would she show?
6) Do not let someone else’s negativity alter your positivity.
7) Give, more than anything else you do.
8) Rise above it.
9) Sometimes, your idea of strong is so different than their idea of strong. Remember the greats who succeeded with a strength similar to yours. And remember you would still be as strong, if you were in the street homeless. Your hope and kindness and love is your strength. No other material things add real value to your life. You are what is inside of you.
10) Water erodes rock, and when needed, creates it’s own path.
11) Remember almost all problems involve ego. Check it. There is no such thing as too humble. I need to humble myself as often as it takes and remember when I don’t, God will through situations. I have to remind myself of this, all the time.
12) Be non-threatening and kind, and if they look at you as a threat anyways, you know it’s their issue. Most of the time it stems from somewhere in them you have no power to reach.
13) There is always time, especially for healing.
14) You’re not done yet. This tiff or the next won’t end you, just try and find your peace.
15) Write it down. Thank you. I feel so much better and will continue to add to this as I think of things.
16) Most of the time, someone is mad at you because they feel like you took from them. Whether you did or didn’t, or whether it was intentional or not… They probably haven’t gotten to that thought process yet, and just feel wronged and are reacting to that feeling. Keep that in mind instead of getting angry. Realize the the person is probably hurt and feeling wronged and that is behind their actions toward you.
17) When you’re 80, this won’t matter, just like when you were 10… Those fights didn’t matter like you thought they would.
18) Life is too short for bullshit. That is a direct quote from my mother, and it was told to me in another emotional struggle I was going through in college. I believe to date it is my favorite saying. I come to it probably weekly and use it to help me make a choice on whether or not to let something upset me. I love it because it is so direct and true. It’s such a raw and beautiful way to sift what matters from what doesn’t. The bullshit, all of it, life is too short for it. My mother has told me so many wonderful things, most of which are on this list, but I still think this one takes the cake. Don’t put up with it, if it’s bullshit.